Wordless Wednesday.....

I love you, Pass it on.....

I am not one for making resolutions. I don't believe in them and I don't think I ever will. However there are things that I will do differently in the new year and when 2012 comes to an end I will not look back on the year with regret.
One of the best things I have done so far is to let people know how much I care about them and how much they mean to me. I spent some time this holiday season writing to many of the people that made a difference in my life. People that I don't know how I would have ever made it through without. People that have changed the course and direction of my life. However large or small they made a difference. Some of those people I really haven't "talked" to in years.
One of these people was the mother of my best friend in grade school, Helen. I happened to run into her at my cousin's funeral. I have seen her from time to time around town when we would be down visiting my grandmother. We would make small talk, idle chatter. Never anything meaningful, and I have never told her how much I appreciated all that she had done for me. So I let her know.
Interestingly, the next week, two of my childhood friends stopped by my grandmothers house. They shared with her how much they appreciated both she and my grandfather. They reminisced about the great memories we had shared and really brightened my grandmothers day.
I realized that day that I saw Helen at that funeral that I was never going to let another moment go by without telling her how much she mean to me. I was never going to let others know how much they mean to me. So when the opportunity arises I will let them know and if they don't reciprocate that is fine. I just want to show my appreciation and love for those who have made a difference to me in my life. I am no longer holding back telling people how much I love them and I am going to pass it on....

Word of the year.....

I have spent the past few weeks pondering what I would have for my word of the year this year. I never really landed on a word but a phrase that I really felt would be my guide to help me. Definitely through the next several months and for sure through out the year.
Since I have been attending group with my sister every week, one of the main lessons being taught is that you cannot handle and heal everything. That you cannot take on everyone else's problems, bad feelings, and issues as yours. That you have to learn to own what belongs to you and turn everything else back over to their rightful owner.
I have learned this year to have tremendous faith in my Heavenly Father. I believe that faith has helped me learn so much about myself and has helped me heal so much. This year I will continue to heal and everything I cannot I will....

http://www.hollylanedesigns.com

Bring it on.....

As the weather begins to change I have started to worry about how I am going to stay motivated with working out. It seems like the colder it gets the less I want to get out there and exercise in it. Luckily, I now have a great motivator. We are having a "Biggest Loser" competition at work. I was so excited to hear about it. Not only are they going to have team prizes but individual ones as well. I can't wait to get going. Nothing like a little competition, a little teamwork, and a big old prize to get you motivated.

Precious gifts....

I think when you hit any milestone birthday you always think back and analyze yourself and your life. With the higher those numbers getting the more you begin to judge and criticize. However, as I was sitting in our annual Fall conference at work the following questions were asked of us; How will you be remember? What will people say about you when you are gone? We were asked to answer on behalf of the ourselves and then the others in the group. I was in tears when they were done reading the comments about me.
Since I needed to be at work yesterday and had no reason to just take the day off, what an amazing way to spend the day. What a gift to receive!!! I loved knowing that my co-workers thought I was genuine, sweet, compassionate just to say a few. That they were just appreciative to have me in their presence.
I thought of those questions and thought about what I have done in my life and how I will be remembered if I were to leave this earth today. I can say that I have a family that I love dearly.I have a smart and handsome son, who is an amazing influence on me. I have a wonderful husband who loves and supports me no matter what. My friends, what can I say except that they are angels put on this earth to hold me up and last of all my job. I can't even call it a job. It is my life energy, and the fact that I have spent most of my adult life support such special spirits is a gift in itself. I couldn't ask to be blessed more.
So when I look back over my life. There are things I would change and things I wouldn't. I think I could say that each and every day I have tried my best to make sure I have made a difference in someone's life. I am very proud of that and glad I made that decision so long ago not to take that path I initially chose.Had I done so I would never have met and created the relationships I have over the years. They most precious gifts I could ever wish for!!!

Thought for the day.....

Thanks I luv to run

Today I am thankful for my health. 

That I am able to get up and out each and everyday and exercise 

and whether I do a 14 minute mile or a 4 minute mile it doesn't matter.

What does matter is that I do it and it makes me feel amazing!!!

I did it.....

Several years ago I told my Uncle I was going to run down the mountain with him. This year  

I DID IT!!!

Although without my Uncle. I did it all on my own and I have to say it was one of the most amazing experiences ever. For many years I have made excuses. I can't do it because.....

But this year when I woke up on Friday morning, after saying my morning prayers, I looked at my running shoes. Put them on and off I went. It was so peaceful and energizing.

The long road behind me. I took this just as I began to get into town.

View from the top. This is the view of the valley from one of the foothills. As you begin to leave the canyon.

I was so glad I finally put faith in myself to take this goal on. It was 4.9 miles from our trailer in the canyon to my grandmothers home. It was so empowering to me that the feeling of that first trip down the canyon is going to sustain me for some time. My goal is to run up it next year.

Health is like money......

We never have a true idea of it's value until we lose it.~ Josh Billings

 This is a picture of me a little less then two years ago. That is probably one of the most unhealthiest points I had been in at my life. Both emotionally and physically. I know now personally how weight is controlled by your emotions and what you are keeping inside of yourself. It is so important to be able to keep both your emotional well being in check to benefit your physical health. I am so thankful to have finally been able to discover and deal with that. 

I have so many people ask me what I am doing, what diet I am on, what exercises I am doing and when I tell them nothing. They don't believe me. People have thought I have had a variety of different weight loss surgeries but I haven't. 

What I have done is allowed myself to forgive.I put my faith in Heavenly Father to guide me through what I needed to see and be taught. I have allowed myself to let go of the abusive treatment I have gone through and no longer allowed it to control me. Once I began to open the drawers that I needed to and look at what was inside them, I realized it was okay. I am no longer an child. I don't have to take abuse or be treated badly by anyone. After I really began to believe and understand that. Once I was able to control that for myself, the weight just began to leave. It is kind of like each memory weighs a pound and each one I remember, process, and control. Goes away. 

I have lost and gained weight back and forth for years but this time it is different, this time I can feel it's gone. I believe that is because I am also taking control of those current people in my life that I have difficult relationships with. I think because I didn't have those memories from my childhood, I was allowing the people around me to fill them with memories, good or bad as long as it was some sort of familiar memory. Which I realized is not healthy and is no longer being allowed. I want healthy relationships, for a healthy me.

I couldn't be more thankful for those that have helped me along the way. Those that have been there to support me through all of the tears and the pain and actually those who haven't . Because they make me stronger, healthier me.

I'm might run, I'll definitely walk and when it's all over they may have to roll me to the car...

I'm there!!!

A little sweat never killed anyone...

For anyone interested, I am going to document my weight loss journey. I am planning on doing so openly and honestly. I am doing this so other may share in my journey and can possibly be encouraged by it. Feel free to join me here . This blog is still under construction but will be up and fully running within the week.